Sunday, November 16, 2008

My first "first"

Those of you who have followed my blog know that I don't post on Sundays. Last Sunday was the first exception, today will be the second.

I've often heard it said that the first year after losing a loved one is the hardest...a year of "firsts" if you will. All the holidays, birthdays, anniversary and so forth will come and go for the first time without that special someone.

Today was my first "first." The first time I attended church and Sunday School without my Sweet Hubby. I found that I could hold myself together as long as people didn't hug me. When they hugged me, I fell apart. And they all wanted to hug me...God bless them, they so lovingly represent the Body of Christ.

After Sunday School, I took my little garden seat, went behind the church to the cemetery and sat in the sunshine at my Sweet Hubby's grave. Oh, I still can't believe I'm typing that. I couldn't believe I was sitting there today. It just doesn't seem possible that he's gone. It just doesn't seem possible that a week ago I was holding his hand as he slipped away from me...

I don't think I'll be posting tomorrow. But tonight I wanted to share with you one of the songs they played at my Sweet Hubby's funeral on Wednesday. Now, he asked that two songs be sung - Ave Maria and Bring the Rain. Two members of our church choir sang those solos and they sang them so beautifully...

But I requested a third song be played. It's one by Todd Agnew and not that well known. But from the first moment that I heard it, I fell in love with it. My Sweet Hubby and I used to love listening to Todd's music and this song was a favorite of ours. It is meant to be listened to as the Lord singing to us...so picture that as you listen. I hope it touches your heart as much as it always did ours. **Remember to scroll down and pause my player before clicking the link**

The Martyr's Song ~ Todd Agnew

And because I like you to know exactly what you're hearing, here are the lyrics as well:

Sing o son of Zion, shout o child of mine
Rejoice with all your heart and soul and mind

I’ve been waiting to dance with you in fields full of colors you've never seen
And I’ve been waiting to show you beauty you've never dreamed that's always been in you
And I’ve been waiting to see you tremble as you’re embraced by a world saturated with my love
And I’ve been waiting for the day when at last I get to say
My child you are finally home

Sing o son of Zion, shout o child of mine
Rejoice with all your heart and soul and mind
For you are finally home

I’ve been waiting to watch you realize what all your longing was for
I’ve been waiting to show you the thread of grace that ran through all your pain
And I’ve been waiting to let you drink the water of which your greatest joy on earth was just a taste
And I’ve been waiting for the day when at last I get to say
My child you are finally home

Sing o son of Zion, shout o child of mine
Rejoice with all your heart and soul and mind
Sing o daughter of Zion; cry out o child of mine
Dance with all the strength that you can find
For you are finally home

Every tear you cry dried in the palm of my hand
Every lonely hour was by my side
Every loved one lost, every river crossed
Every moment, every hour was pointing to this day
I’ve been longing for this day

I’ve been waiting to dance with you in fields full of colors you've never seen
And I’ve been waiting to show you beauty you've never dreamed that's always been in you
And I’ve been waiting to see you tremble as you’re embraced by a world saturated with my love
And I’ve been waiting for the day when at last I get to say
My child you are finally home

Sing o son of Zion, shout o child of mine
Rejoice with all your heart and soul and mind
Sing o daughter of Zion; cry out o child of mine
Dance with all the strength that you can find
For you are finally home

Sing of son of Zion, shout o child of mine
Rejoice with all your heart and soul and mind
And sing of daughter of Zion; cry out o child of mine
Dance with all the strength that you can find
For you are finally home
For you are finally home

Child of mine

Finally home

For you are finally home

I love you sweetheart...oh dear Lord I miss you.

8 comments:

Jess said...

The song was wonderful, and I see why you chose it.

Have a blessed week, dear friend...

Lots of love and prayers for you
Jess

jeleasure said...

God was waiting for Steve.
That brings the obvious next thought, 'God is waiting for us'. Can you imagine?
The only thing I can relate it to is when I was a child, my sister and I had ducks. There were babies. When my sister and I wanted to hold the little ducklings, Daffy would get nurvous. Only my Dad would have to explain it to us. And we would put the little ones down. Daffy would then circle them, checking them all until she was satisfied they were all there.
Thanks for providing the memory with that message of God's desire to have us all home.

Vicki said...

Hello Gigi, dear,
Tears filled my eyes as I listened to your special song. I envisioned Steve in a white robe walking through the gates of heaven. The golden street is lined with angels singing this song with Jesus taking the solo part as He comes towards Steve. All are smiling, all truths known, all love and peace. The praise and worship in majesty has begun.
My love and prayers have been with you daily. Yours is the more difficult road for now. Keep trusting, praying, leaning on the Holy Spirit. When all else fails, put one foot in front of the other and keep on keeping on.
Jim and I could possibly come and see you this week. If this would be a blessing, let us know.
Vicki

Putz said...

it is ok to blog sundays because what you are doing is soothing, uplifting people and the savior wants us to do that on sunday, but i agree that it is nice to just sit back and rest, unless you get lonely doing that, then by all means use people to help you

Jody said...

Still praying and thinking about you. Yes, the "firsts" are tough.
Jody

Angie said...

Gigi---my heart breaks for all that you have gone through and what you will still endure in the coming holidays...but KNOW...as I am sure you know...CHRIST met him...and holds your hand as well.

We have lived through the greatest loss we have ever suffered this year in the passing of my younger sister. Our loss is heavens gain...and we will soon meet again...I long for that homecoming celebration!

Have a blessed evening. Prayers sent up for you.

Laurel Wreath said...

You are right I had not heard of it, beautiful song!

Tamela's Place said...

Hello gigi,

What a perfect and most beautiful song for your sweet hubby!


Tamela :)