I don't even remember his name

One year ago today; sometime after 4:30 in the afternoon, a doctor entered my Sweet Hubby's hospital room. We had been waiting for more than a day for test results.

This doctor came in, sat down and began stumbling around...blood work fine, but the CT showed a mass on the tail of the pancreas. Multiple lesions to the liver. More stumbling...Finally I said, "are you trying to tell us that my husband has pancreatic cancer that has metastasized to his liver?" One word. Yes.

That doctor delivered the most devastating news that I have ever heard in my life.

And I don't even remember his name.

Not that it matters...the result is still the same.

But one thing does matter. One thing I can assure you friends...there were no tears, no "why me" mentality. Only prayer, praise and worship.

And as I struggle here now, alone, I try to remember that. I try to honor that. Honor my Savior.

Only now - there are tears.

"But praise be to God who gives us strength to overcome through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Corinthians 15:57

Just...sorrow

Another "9th" is almost over. And I'm one month further in the process of grieving for my Sweet Hubby. I can tell you with every fiber of my being...it doesn't get easier, it doesn't hurt less.

I now know that there are some wounds that time doesn't heal.

I love you sweetheart. And I miss you beyond words.

Always,
Your True
xo

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Matthew 5:4

The first of many

A year ago today, my Sweet Hubby awoke feeling "a bit better" (as he put it) but still moving really slowly. Not at all with the usual "spring in his step." It didn't take much coaxing to get him to stay home again...and this time I told him I would be calling his doctor to get an appointment.

He saw the doctor at 2:30 that afternoon. By 4:00 we were at the hospital across the street, in the ER, waiting to be admitted. All we knew at that point was that he was severely anemic and needed a blood transfusion. Suspected diagnosis? A bleeding stomach ulcer.

That admission was the first, but most certainly not the last; the blood transfusion only the first of many.

Funny...I sure didn't feel our world crashing down around us. But, oh how it was...

"And lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."
Matthew 28:20

And so it began...

One year ago today, my Sweet Hubby woke up not feeling well at all. He was very weak, very tired...his head spun when he bent over - very dizzy. He said he felt like he was coming down with something. I suggested he stay home from work. He did. So not like him; I knew he felt bad. He spent most of the day in his recliner and said he was feeling better...we went to bed that night as normal. I told him I hoped he felt better when I said goodnight. I told him I loved him.

And so it began...

"The Lord is near the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

Spoken for...

I pray you all had a safe 4th of July weekend and that if you lit off fireworks, you are still in possession of all your fingers and toes!

So tell me...how does it feel to be spoken for? To know - beyond a shadow of a doubt - that your Savior loves you and desires you to be with Him through all of eternity! To know - beyond a shadow of a doubt - that you are a child of the Living God! I know how it makes me feel...blessed, loved, cherished, grateful, humbled, joyful, tearful, excited! I want everyone I know to feel the same way! If you don't have that peace in your heart, it is yours simply for the asking...

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7

Spoken for. Aren't those wonderful words?

"I am the door; if anyone enters through me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture." John 10:9

"And it shall be that everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." Acts 2:21

Since it's Music Monday, I have a song! You knew it was coming, right?!

**Remember to scroll down and pause my player before listening**

MercyMe ~ Spoken For


I know of something else that's spoken for...my blog birthday giveaway! And since you've been so patient, I won't keep you in suspense any longer! Here's how it went down...

I had four comments to my July 1st post - Dawn, Jody, Greg and Jess. These four names were entered into the drawing, like thus...


and so...


And then I placed the entries into one of my beautiful carved bowls that I brought back from Haiti. Isn't it lovely? Have I mentioned that Haiti was my favorite port of call on my recent cruise? No? Well, it was. But I digress...



And then, my baby boy, Matthew, did the honors. And yes - he really does have a head! But he felt like flying "incognito" during the photo shoot, so there you have it...oh, speaking of flying - well...I'll get to that in a few. We want prezzies, right?!


Ready, set...


Have I ever told you that I'm the Queen of A-N-T-I-C-I-P-A-T-I-O-N? I am. I really, really am.

And the winner is...

You know what? It's my blog birthday and I get to make the rules...so you're ALL winners.

Now I guess you'd like to know what your prezzie is, huh? Picky, picky! Alrighty then.


To quote from the CD:

"Chronicles and highlights of 10 years of music since the release of the song I Can Only Imagine. Includes eleven #1 songs as well as three never before heard recordings, including the 10th Anniversary edition of I Can Only Imagine featuring the London Session Orchestra."

AND

"Ten years of video from MercyMe. This disc features music videos and live performance footage from across the United States. Included as a bonus is a in-depth feature of MercyMe produced by the Gospel Music Channel, as well as the story behind the song I Can Only Imagine."

Dawn, Jody, Greg and Jess - if you would please email me your address, I'll be getting this wonderful CD/DVD combo out to each of you! I truly hope you enjoy it as much as I do. My e-address can be found on my profile page.

So, thank you again for your faithfulness, your prayers and your friendship over the past year. What a gift you've all given me - and yes...that includes all you "behind the scenes" readers too! God bless...I wish you a wonderful week.

Oh - back to the flying thing...if you would all be so kind as to keep Matthew in your prayers this week as he flies to Chicago on Tuesday for a conference and flies home on Sunday. You know that makes this Mom very nervous! You're the best!!

Happy Birthday

Can you believe it? I know I can't...

My blog is one year old today! To God be all the glory...this was His idea after all.

I think it's time for a prezzie, don't you? From me, to you I mean!

So everyone who posts a comment now through midnight Sunday, July 5th, is eligible. What is the prize, you ask? Well, if I told you it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it?! I'll draw a name Monday morning and will announce the birthday gift recipient in my Music Monday post!

Good luck! And thank you for being such loyal readers for the past year. You know who you are - even those of you who never post a comment...! God bless you all.

"Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God." John 1:13

Solomon's wisdom

Ahh...my grandsons. They make me laugh like you would not believe. I am blessed.

"Grandchildren are the crowning glory of the aged; parents are the pride of their children." Proverbs 17:6

The line in the sand..

Last Wednesday, this video was featured on K-LOVE - the radio station I listen to. I felt it was worth sharing. And today being Music Monday makes it even more appropriate! I hope you find it as meaningful as I did...

**Remember to scroll down and pause my player**

An interview with Chris Tomlin

And now for the whole song! Won't it have even more impact now? Enjoy!













Jesus Messiah ~ Chris Tomlin

"Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Messiah has been born from God, and everyone who loves the parent also loves the child." 1 John 5:1

It's done

Well, what I have been dreading for months and months is now done.

Today I ordered my Sweet Hubby's gravestone. Actually, our stone, since we have a joint burial plot. I think it will be beautiful...

On the way home I was praying and praising through the music on the radio. (Thanks K-LOVE!) This song came on and since I didn't post a Music Monday selection, I thought I'd do that today. Call it "Tune Tuesday" if you like!

**Be sure to scroll down and pause my player first!!**

Every Time I Breathe ~ Big Daddy Weave

It's so true - I do feel closer to my Jesus with every breath and He is such a marvelous God!!

In closing, I'd like to share a very special Scripture verse. It's been even more meaningful this past year...and it will be inscribed on our stone.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to my Sweet Hubby and the father of my children.

You are missed so very, very much.

But one thing I know for sure - we were most blessed to have you in our lives.