Friday, October 3, 2008

When hope is ripped away

Today my Sweet Hubby had a follow up appointment with his oncologist. He was also supposed to begin his next round of chemotherapy.

Instead, the oncologist said there would be no chemo today. And he recommended that my Sweet Hubby stop treatment. Altogether.

Earlier in the week while my Sweet Hubby was in the hospital, they repeated his CT scan. It showed that some lesions had increased in size and there were possibly some new lesions as well. Which would indicate that the chemo had been ineffective.

We questioned another regimen. He was not at all encouraging. But here's the thing...my Sweet Hubby wants to fight this beast called pancreatic cancer. He wants aggressive therapy. And it is his right to want to continue treatment.

At the end of the appointment, the doctor agreed (in his own words) to "reluctantly" begin another regimen with different drugs next week.

Which means I have a week to find a new oncologist for my Sweet Hubby. One who will fight with us, not against us.

Why is this so hard?
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to proper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
A little hope right about now would be most welcome...

10 comments:

Marlene said...

Mr. Steve and Miss Gigi,

I'm praying real hard to Jesus and God to help give you hope right now. I love you both.
XOXO McKenna

Gigi said...

Miss McKenna ~ we love you too...very much. You don't know how much your phone call meant to us last night. Thank you for your prayers; they are a comfort.

Putz said...

oh dear gigi, i just barely heard brother uchdorf just now in our saturday lds conferance talking one half hour about hope...in fact i plan to write a blog about it...i still believe with all my heart you are doing the most important work of your whole life right now and that is firming up the stallwart beams and foundations that he will take with him and all will be bound and secure when you get there with him...this work is being suppoted by our savior and will be in force forever....do you believe that????

Gigi said...

putz ~ thank you for your words of encouragement. I believe with all my heart that my Sweet Hubby and I are on this journey with the Lord as our guide and our shelter. We feel His presence, comfort, love and Spirit every single day. We try to bring Him honor and glory in all that we do, even (especially) now...We have 100% confidence and hope in our God. But it sure would be nice to have a doctor fighting for us too. When my Sweet Hubby was diagnosed, he made a promise to the Lord that he would do everything humanly and earthly possible to fight this disease. The rest he would leave to the Lord to work out. He feels he has not kept that promise yet. All we want is a physician who is willing to fight with us, not against us. I know the right doctor is out there...and I will find him for my beloved.

jeleasure said...

Gigi,
Vicki and I have been praying for Steve and yourself. Ask yourself, what could God do through Steve to effect others, especially those who have the charge to care for Steve.

All we can do is pray. And, I have to say that I am thankful for this media you have chosen to use to allow us (Christians) the opportunity to pray.

Vicki said...

Dear GiGi,
Jim and I have a couple in our SS class who are suffering the exact situation that you and your husband are suffering...Doctor recommends no more chemo. Lex has started radiation treatment. Please keep Lex and Patsy in your prayers too.
Prayer does indeed change things.
BLessings and God's special presence to you and to your husband. Vicki

Gigi said...

James and Vicki ~ you're right...prayer is our hope because it leads us to the Throne of the Almighty. We will remember Lex and Patsy and pray peace, strength, comfort and health over them.

Beth said...

I'll be praying for you and Steve. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. God is faithful, and He will be to you also.

Gigi said...

Thank you very much Beth!

Vicki said...

Thanks, GiGi,
How are you and your beloved doing today?
I don't know if you would like to see us, but Jim and I would travel to meet you and Steve. Is he able to go to a restaurant?
Blessings,
VIcki