Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Deja vu

Today started out a bit rough...Right after the alarm had gone off and my Sweet Hubby had gone downstairs, I heard a "crash." Immediately my first concern was that he'd fallen. And he just about had. He was extremely dizzy - breaking out in a sweat. Memories came flooding back of a month ago when all of this started. I got him settled safely on the sofa. A former ER nurse, I present a calm, collected exterior - but my mind was racing a million miles an hour. Call the ambulance? Load him in the car and rush to the hospital? Are we dealing with another bleed?

I decided to call the oncologist and let him direct me. The answering service put me right through to the oncall physician. Nice. No endless (it seems anyway!) waiting for the phone to ring. I spoke with one of the partners in the group and described what was going on. I told him about the changes in my Sweet Hubby's lab work over the past couple of weeks. He advised us to come in to the office when they opened at 9 and that they would draw labs and evaluate him at that time. OK. Still uneasy, but now we had a plan. Good.

My Sweet Hubby was resting, so I decided to go into our living room and busy myself with my Bible study. As is my habit, I began with my devotionals. After a brief prayer for peace and the presence of the Holy Spirit, I started to read. When I tell you that I had to read it twice because I could not believe my eyes, I'm not kidding. This is what awaited me today - August 12th:
"Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?" Matthew 8:26
"When we are afraid, the least we can do is pray to God. But our Lord has a right to expect that those who name His name have an underlying confidence in Him. God expects His children to be so confident in Him that in any crisis they are the ones who are reliable."

It went on to say:

"There are times when there is no storm or crisis in our lives, and we do all that is humanly possible. But it is when a crisis arises that we instantly reveal upon whom we rely. If we have been learning to worship God and to place our trust in Him, the crisis will reveal that we can go to the point of breaking without breaking our confidence in Him.

Thank you, Jesus, for the reminder that YOU are in control here!!!! Fear - gone! Anxiety - gone!! Panic - gone!!! All that remained was the peace that surpasses all understanding. Blessed peace.

We saw the doctor and long story short, my Sweet Hubby's hemoglobin had tanked again and he would need to receive a couple of units of blood. So they arranged a direct 23 hour short stay admit to the hospital with discharge after the blood had been transfused. We got home right before 10 tonight - just in time for the dose of Tarceva!! God is good - all the time!

Once again, we had wonderful caregivers in the hospital who couldn't do enough for us. We are so blessed it is beyond belief...

Tomorrow is chemo day #2. If you would, please remember my Sweet Hubby in your prayers...


Gail said...

Saying extra prayers for your Sweet Hubby today *hugs*
I wish none of this was happening, but I do believe God is using your situation for His glory. He is making that abundantly clear, in all the "little things" :)

Gigi said...

Thank you for the prayers Gail! And yes, yes, yes!! Our gracious Lord's "fingerprints" are everywhere!! To God be all the glory - He is such an awesome and loving God!!