Friday, July 10, 2009

I don't even remember his name

One year ago today; sometime after 4:30 in the afternoon, a doctor entered my Sweet Hubby's hospital room. We had been waiting for more than a day for test results.

This doctor came in, sat down and began stumbling around...blood work fine, but the CT showed a mass on the tail of the pancreas. Multiple lesions to the liver. More stumbling...Finally I said, "are you trying to tell us that my husband has pancreatic cancer that has metastasized to his liver?" One word. Yes.

That doctor delivered the most devastating news that I have ever heard in my life.

And I don't even remember his name.

Not that it matters...the result is still the same.

But one thing does matter. One thing I can assure you friends...there were no tears, no "why me" mentality. Only prayer, praise and worship.

And as I struggle here now, alone, I try to remember that. I try to honor that. Honor my Savior.

Only now - there are tears.

"But praise be to God who gives us strength to overcome through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Corinthians 15:57

7 comments:

Dawn said...

I'm sure you both were in a state of shock - a blessed numbness at the time. But now you are reliving it in living pain. I said before I can only imagine, but I cannot even imagine.

Dawn said...

PS - I am so thankful you have the Lord and all of the blessings of a church family, music you love, and wonderful memories.

Jess said...

God is the only way you are making it through this....just keep Him in mind.

Love you
Jess

Jody said...

Stopping by to say I'm thinking about you and thankful that you are in the palm of our Lord's hand as you continue this journey.

Pastor Trudy said...

Well Gigi as always, you bring an amazing peace to my life. I really don't know how you do it. Your grief for your dear Sweet Hubby is still so great and yet your ministry through this blog is so much more than you'll ever know. Until we reach heaven you will never know the impact you have made on the Kingdom of God even in the midst of your greatest trial.

Thank you for listening to God and being a part of our lives in turn allowing us to be a part of your life in some small way.

Praying for you...

Tamela's Place said...

I love you my sister and your strength in the Lord is amazing and such a light for others..

Putz said...

i am sad you are alone....i mean relativily, not reality, but still alone and i remember that time too...i thought the news would be much less drmatic