Deja vu

Today started out a bit rough...Right after the alarm had gone off and my Sweet Hubby had gone downstairs, I heard a "crash." Immediately my first concern was that he'd fallen. And he just about had. He was extremely dizzy - breaking out in a sweat. Memories came flooding back of a month ago when all of this started. I got him settled safely on the sofa. A former ER nurse, I present a calm, collected exterior - but my mind was racing a million miles an hour. Call the ambulance? Load him in the car and rush to the hospital? Are we dealing with another bleed?

I decided to call the oncologist and let him direct me. The answering service put me right through to the oncall physician. Nice. No endless (it seems anyway!) waiting for the phone to ring. I spoke with one of the partners in the group and described what was going on. I told him about the changes in my Sweet Hubby's lab work over the past couple of weeks. He advised us to come in to the office when they opened at 9 and that they would draw labs and evaluate him at that time. OK. Still uneasy, but now we had a plan. Good.

My Sweet Hubby was resting, so I decided to go into our living room and busy myself with my Bible study. As is my habit, I began with my devotionals. After a brief prayer for peace and the presence of the Holy Spirit, I started to read. When I tell you that I had to read it twice because I could not believe my eyes, I'm not kidding. This is what awaited me today - August 12th:

"Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?" Matthew 8:26

"When we are afraid, the least we can do is pray to God. But our Lord has a right to expect that those who name His name have an underlying confidence in Him. God expects His children to be so confident in Him that in any crisis they are the ones who are reliable."

It went on to say:

"There are times when there is no storm or crisis in our lives, and we do all that is humanly possible. But it is when a crisis arises that we instantly reveal upon whom we rely. If we have been learning to worship God and to place our trust in Him, the crisis will reveal that we can go to the point of breaking without breaking our confidence in Him.

Thank you, Jesus, for the reminder that YOU are in control here!!!! Fear - gone! Anxiety - gone!! Panic - gone!!! All that remained was the peace that surpasses all understanding. Blessed peace.

We saw the doctor and long story short, my Sweet Hubby's hemoglobin had tanked again and he would need to receive a couple of units of blood. So they arranged a direct 23 hour short stay admit to the hospital with discharge after the blood had been transfused. We got home right before 10 tonight - just in time for the dose of Tarceva!! God is good - all the time!

Once again, we had wonderful caregivers in the hospital who couldn't do enough for us. We are so blessed it is beyond belief...

Tomorrow is chemo day #2. If you would, please remember my Sweet Hubby in your prayers...

Our "other son!"

My Sweet Hubby and I listen to contemporary Christian music exclusively and have for years. It uplifts us and we just love to praise the Lord with song!

There is one artist that struck a cord with us several years ago...we had an opportunity to chit chat with him at a recent event and he was such a God filled, wonderful young man. He cruised with us on the K-LOVE Friends and Family cruise in 2006. He has written songs for some of the biggest "names" in the Christian music industry but you'd never know it because you'll never hear that from him. But the other artists sure speak highly of him! His Mom and Dad must be so proud of him! (They are - we saw it on their faces on the cruise!) And he has the sweetest wife and baby girl!

Anyway, my Sweet Hubby and I have jokingly taken to calling him "our other son Matthew." When one of his songs comes on the radio we say, "There's our other son, Matthew!"

I heard this song well before it was released. And absolutely loved what it said. So, for today's Music Monday selection I would like to introduce you to "our other son" - Matthew West!



You Are Everything ~ Matthew West

And because it's a beautiful, sunshiney morning - how about a "two fer?" Here's another Matthew song about the gift of God's grace. Isn't grace a wonderful thing? Where would we be without it?



Only Grace ~ Matthew West

For the law was given by Moses. But grace and truth came by Jesus Christ. John 1:17

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith -- and this not from yourselves -- it is the gift of God -- not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

I pray that you all have a week where you know that you are held in the hollow of God's Almighty Hand. And that you know His grace is nothing you have earned - could EVER earn. It is a precious gift He gives freely through his Beloved Son, Jesus.

GRACE: God's Redemption At Christ's Expense

It's the little things!

Today's entry will be brief...I have a lot to do and the day's a wastin'! Matthew is on his way home for the weekend, I have a lawn to mow, a pup to tend to...

My Sweet Hubby told me this morning that last night was the best night's sleep he's had in a long time! He has not been sleeping well at all, multiple awakenings with difficulty falling back to sleep. His oncologist has him on medication and it appears to be working - finally! I'm grateful! Sleep is restorative. Imperative and necessary.

I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the LORD sustains me. Psalm 3:5

It may not seem like much, but it's the small things that count! Thank you Lord, for all our many blessings, both big AND small!

I wish you all a wonderful, blessed weekend ~ see you Monday!

...but joy comes with the morning!

Yesterday was not a good day. I felt a step behind from the time I got out of bed...Add to that the fact that we've had a sick pup and it just made for a miserable day altogether. By the end of the night I felt totally overwhelmed and ready to have a good cry. I think if I'd had to give Snoopy one more more bath, do one more load of towels or scrub one more floor, I'd have had to be committed...sigh...

Truth be told, I rolled out of bed this morning still feeling a bit discouraged. I got my Sweet Hubby off to work and went into our living room to spend some quiet time with the Lord. And boy oh boy did I pour my heart out to Him! I told Him all about how lousy yesterday was and how I knew there would be "hard" days, but oh please God, could today NOT be one of them? Because I didn't know if I could do another one so soon. I told Him that I didn't want to be sad. That what I really wanted to do was spend my time praising Him. And here's what I heard in that quiet voice...you know the one I mean...

"Choose to praise."

Wait! Could it be that simple? Yes, of course it is!! I get to choose every single day - every single moment of my life. So...today, this moment - I choose to praise the One who made me!

Then, feeling considerably lighter and totally refreshed, I turned to His Word. And found this waiting for me...

"O Lord my God, I cried to you for help,
and you restored my health.
You brought me up from the grave, O Lord.
You kept me from falling into
the pit of death." Psalm 30:2-3

Ahh...reassurance that I can continue to NOT concern myself with my Sweet Hubby's diagnosis. All is well in the hands of God. And it was bolded in Scripture!

I continued reading...and there was this:

"Sing to the Lord, all you godly ones!
Praise his holy name.
For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime!
Weeping may last through the night,
but joy comes with the morning." Psalm 30:4-5

Joy truly does come with the morning! Thank you Lord for bringing me back to center today! I pray that all who read this are having a blessed day as well...Amen!

One down...

So my Sweet Hubby's first chemo treatment was...uneventful! Praise God! We were there for two hours during which time they drew labs, started his IV, began a normal saline drip, infused dexamethasone and then... - "the magic beans" - Gemcitabine!!

Tonight will be my Sweet Hubby's 8th dose of Tarceva. The pharmacist mentioned the 8th dose seems to be the time when a lot of patients develop the "rash" that is a common side effect of this medicine. We'll see. The doctor mentioned that the rash is actually a "good sign" that the drug is getting to the receptors. The literature I've read said that the rash could develop over the first few weeks of treatment. Who ever thought you'd see the day when you WANTED a rash??!! Especially one that presents like acne...

We just thank God for the knowledge of our physician, the kindness of his nurses and office staff, the diligence of our pharmacy tech...They have all been wonderful. And as always, we are most grateful to all of you for your uplifting prayers - you have no idea how much they get us through each and every day!

"I will praise you, Lord my God, with my whole heart. I will glorify your name forevermore." Psalm 86:12

A Courageous Heart

"A Courageous Heart For Men" is the title of the daily devotional that my Sweet Hubby uses. He has a courageous heart. And a spirit on fire for the Lord! It is awesome to listen to him and watch him in his walk with Jesus...

I took a quick glance at the reading for today in his devotional. I was stunned by how timely it was given that today is Chemo, Day One. It read: "Need courage? God can handle it."

"Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord is the one who goes before you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:8

What a verse to carry in his heart today...Thank you Lord for your goodness!

I will try and post an update later today. Just received a call and they've moved my Sweet Hubby's appointment from 1 p.m. to 11 a.m. Please keep him in your prayers this morning - we thank you!

"Come and talk with me"

Hear me as I pray, O Lord.
Be merciful and answer me!
My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk with me."
And my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming."
Psalm 27:7-8

The above was how my Psalm reading for today began. And it got me to thinking about all the times my heart has heard the Lord calling to me. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He seeks me out - that He truly wants to spend time with me each and every day. A lot of time. I'm ashamed to admit that my heart doesn't always respond, "Lord, I am coming." Sometimes it responds, "Lord, not right now...I've got a lot going on at the moment. Can I get with you a little later?" I'm working on that one, praying on that one.

I picked up a new devotional before worship service on Sunday. It's an old one..."My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. I just had to laugh when I read the title for today's devotion: The Bewildering Call of God. Isn't that so often the truth? We just don't understand what it is God's calling us for or to...And we want to know, don't we?! We're so human...and it's frustrating when we feel we're "in the dark" so to speak!

I find that just praying to be in His will goes a long way toward dealing with the angst and anxiety of the unknown. Oswald Chambers put it very succinctly today:

"If we are in fellowship and oneness with God and recognize that He is taking us into His purposes, then we will no longer strive to find out what His purposes are. As we grow in the Christian life, it becomes simpler to us, because we are less inclined to say, "I wonder why God allowed this or that?" And we begin to see that the compelling purpose of God lies behind everything in life, and that God is divinely shaping us into oneness with that purpose. A Christian is someone who trusts in the knowledge and wisdom of God, not in his own abilities. If we have a purpose of our own, it destroys the simplicity and the calm, relaxed pace which should be characteristic of the children of God."

Yes - how true!! It is when I take myself out of the will of the Lord that I find myself swimming in a sea of anxiety! Actually - drowning would be a more accurate description!

So, I'm working on responding immediately to the voice of God tugging at my heart. It's so much easier to remain in a serene mindset when I am in constant communion with the One who made me! Do I hear an Amen?

In Christ Alone

I mentioned in an earlier post that while my Sweet Hubby was in the hospital, certain song lyrics kept playing over and over in my head..."on Christ the solid Rock I stand..."

So did I feel especially cherished by the Lord when those very lyrics were a part of my weekend? Absolutely YES!! I wanted to fall to my knees in worship and thanksgiving for His goodness! Such a small detail, but doesn't that make you see what a BIG God we serve - that He attends to the minutiae of our lives as easily and fully as He attends to the catastrophic?

I'm sharing the song with you today, as my Music Monday selection. Travis Cottrell leads the praise team for Beth Moore and his voice is so powerful. I hope you fall in love with this song and that it brings you as much hope and comfort as it always brings me!




In Christ Alone ~ Travis Cottrell

In closing, I'd like to share part of my Scripture reading from this morning...

"I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

Did you notice that "hope" is mentioned twice in that one verse? I did! I pray that today and always you overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit! Be blessed!

The Parable of the Sower

Can I just start by saying what a truly remarkable blessing the Beth Moore simulcast was? I have much to think about - pray about - as a result of the past two days.

Beth's focus was The Parable of the Sower, which can be found in the Book of Luke.

"A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds of the air ate it up. Some fell on rock, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown." When he said this, he called out, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear."

His disciples asked him what this parable meant. He said, "The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of God has been given to you, but to others I speak in parables, so that, 'though seeing, they may not see; though hearing, they may not understand.'"

"This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop." Luke 8:5-15

From the moment I discovered last night what Scripture Beth would be teaching to, I was convicted. You see, I remember very well reading this parable earlier this year during my Bible study. And I remember how I sat there afterward in prayer because I wasn't sure what kind of "soil" I was...of course I wanted to think I was good soil...but was I really??? Oh, I had so much turmoil and doubt. Because what if I was ROCK? What if my faith couldn't stand up to trial or temptation? What if??????

It was so reassuring to revisit this Parable that Jesus told and see it in a new light. The light of our current circumstances. And to know beyond any shadow of a doubt that I am, indeed, good soil. Thank you Lord for your goodness and mercy!

And then Beth spoke Psalm 126:5-6:

"Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him."

She said this is a promise from the Lord...if we go out and sow the seed of God (His Word) during our times of trial and crisis, watering that seed with our tears, we will reap the harvest with songs of joy!! What a promise to stand on!!

Oh - I could go on and on...I came away with such treasure! I'm sure I'll be sharing more over the coming days and weeks as I pray about what I learned and gain greater understanding.

To my good friend "M"...I love you and I'm so glad we had this time together to grow in our love for the Lord! What a blessing you are to me! See you in church tomorrow!

I wish you all a beautiful Sunday!

Girl Time!

Tonight and tomorrow our church is hosting a Living Proof Live simulcast. Living Proof Ministries is Beth Moore's ministry.

"Beth founded Living Proof Ministries in 1994 with the purpose of teaching women how to love and live on God’s Word."

This 2 day event is for ladies only and I am going with my good friend "M." We have been looking forward to it for weeks now! We spoke on the phone this morning and we're both so excited to see the Lord in action...we know women's lives will be touched and changed as we grow stronger in Him! Hallelujah!

"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

Have any of you ever been to one of Beth's events? I'd love to know how the Lord blessed you...

It's going to be an awesome 2 days of praise and worship. And plain, good old fashioned girl time! I'm sure I'll have much to post about tomorrow afternoon...Until then ~ be blessed!