Friday, October 22, 2010

Holding on

Ever find yourself weary and just needing to be held up? Ever feel like maybe it's just too much effort to keep putting one foot in front of the other? I have. It's been that kind of week...sadness and overwhelming grief have been my constant companions. I know it will pass - but it's sure hard to live through.

I learned through my bereavement group (just yesterday, in fact) that there is a name for what I've been experiencing. It's called a "grief burst." And just like mine, it comes at you from left field and may or may not have a trigger. Call it a grief "sucker punch" if you will...

I hope (I love that word!) I'm coming up for air now...I had the nicest visit from my Sweet Hubby last night in my dreams. I was leaving a store in the pouring rain and I saw him coming to meet me with an umbrella. So like him - even though he knows I hate umbrellas! I think that was his message that it's time to come out of the rain of this grief (cloud)burst. I'm trying, honey...

But you know, there is always comfort, hope, promise and solace in God's Word. Always. And today, for me, it was here:

The Lord says, "I will rescue those
who love me.
I will protect those who trust in my name.
When they call on me, I will answer;
I will be with them in trouble.
I will rescue and honor them.
I will reward them with a long life
and give them my salvation."
Psalm 91:14-16 NLT

I have a great day planned tomorrow...I'll tell you about it next week sometime! JJ, are you ready?


Judy said...

Sorry for your pain. I cannot imagine. Hope -- good word.

(I have loved your comments on my photos. :) Thanks.)

nancygrayce said...

Bless your heart! I am so sorry. I know that grief is such a constant companion for all you have lost a loved one. My mama told me just the other day how much she missed daddy and he's been gone over 14 years.

I'm so glad you're going to a grief group. My MIL went for a while and said it really helped her.

JJ said...

Your post brought tears to my eyes. I am so glad that you had such a sweet visit from your hubby last night in your dreams, he always shows up at the right time (doesn't he?) I am happy to hear you are looking forward to tomorrow (I won't share our secret yet). These experiences are always such a blessing to be able to share them with you. Can't wait to see you tomorrow. And by the way, my babies are asking for their Gigi.

Dawn said...

What a poignant post. I am thankful you are getting through it, with God's help. And friends'! Have a wonderful time and I can't wait to hear about it!

Putz said...

i still think of you often gi gi<><><><><>you had the courage to write to all of us when your hubby was diagnosed and then through all of it, i would have stopped blogging right off the bat, but you let us be part of you and that was nice