Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Blink of an eye

In the blink of an eye. Ever wondered just how fast that was? I've read that it's been measured between 300-400 milliseconds. Or to put it another way - between 3/10ths and 4/10ths of a second. Anyway - it's fast.

Noun1.blink of an eye - a very short time (as the time it takes the eye to blink or the heart to beat); "if I had the chance I'd do it in a flash"
mo, moment, second, minute, bit - an indefinitely short time; "wait just a moment"; "in a mo"; "it only takes a minute"; "in just a bit

source: The Free Dictionary by Farlex

That is how quickly life changed for my Sweet Hubby and I just two short years ago today. I guess I'm just like the rest of you...I've heard it said my whole life that you never know how fast your world can be turned upside down. Until it happens to you. Well...I know now. It happens in the blink of an eye. One minute everything is normal and the next, it's not. Two years ago today, life as we knew it was about to come to a screeching halt. Only we didn't know it just quite yet...all we knew the morning of July 7, 2008 was that my Sweet Hubby woke up not feeling well. At all. But he proceeded to get ready for work...showered, shaved, dressed. Men! And yes, you may {insert eye roll here}! It was only when he bent over to pet our dog, Snoopy, and had to quickly sit on the floor before he fell down that he agreed that maybe, just maybe he should stay home for the day. We figured he had picked up some "bug" and that a day of rest and TLC would have him feeling better. But as we all know, that was not how it turned out when he was hospitalized the following day.

I have been eying the calendar with some trepidation. A gnawing sense of....something (Not sure exactly what...dread? anxiety?)...has been poking at me at varying times of the day and night. I guess it's only natural and perhaps in time I'll feel it less and less. But not this year. Not yet. Right now I have to admit that it feels pretty overwhelming, the reliving of it all as it plays out in my mind over and over again. Heartbreaking time and time and time again because the ending is always the same.

Still, we have a Savior Who knows our every need long before we do...and provides us with everything we need to weather the storm. He is our fortress! (And right now, I really need a fortress.) For me, many times, I find comfort in music. No surprise, right? I heard this song yesterday and two lines really stood out BIG TIME. I've always been a stargazer. Ask my's all my Dad's fault. And my Sweet Hubby encouraged it...even bought me a huge telescope for my birthday one year (I think I could have seen into neighboring galaxies with that thing!).

I'm giving my life to the only One Who makes the moon reflect the sun.
Every starry night, that was His design.

Think about that for just a minute! If you're like me, those details get lost in the "day to day." But when you really sit and just meditate on His design...well, I feel very loved by an awesome God. And it is my pleasure and honor to worship Him! And praise Him! And glorify Him! In spite of everything! Because of everything! So Lord, I'll be leaning on you...clinging to You extra tightly over the next week or so...but You already knew that, didn't you?!

*Please scroll down and pause my player before watching video*

In you, O LORD, do I put my trust; let me never be ashamed: deliver me in your righteousness. Bow down your ear to me; deliver me speedily: be you my strong rock, for an house of defense to save me. For you are my rock and my fortress; therefore for your name's sake lead me, and guide me. Pull me out of the net that they have laid privately for me: for you are my strength. Into your hand I commit my spirit: you have redeemed me, O LORD God of truth. I have hated them that regard lying vanities: but I trust in the LORD. I will be glad and rejoice in your mercy: for you have considered my trouble; you have known my soul in adversities; And have not shut me up into the hand of the enemy: you have set my feet in a large room. Have mercy on me, O LORD, for I am in trouble: my eye is consumed with grief, yes, my soul and my belly. For my life is spent with grief, and my years with sighing: my strength fails because of my iniquity, and my bones are consumed. I was a reproach among all my enemies, but especially among my neighbors, and a fear to my acquaintance: they that did see me without fled from me. I am forgotten as a dead man out of mind: I am like a broken vessel. For I have heard the slander of many: fear was on every side: while they took counsel together against me, they devised to take away my life. But I trusted in you, O LORD: I said, You are my God. My times are in your hand: deliver me from the hand of my enemies, and from them that persecute me. Make your face to shine on your servant: save me for your mercies' sake. Let me not be ashamed, O LORD; for I have called on you: let the wicked be ashamed, and let them be silent in the grave. Let the lying lips be put to silence; which speak grievous things proudly and contemptuously against the righteous. Oh how great is your goodness, which you have laid up for them that fear you; which you have worked for them that trust in you before the sons of men! You shall hide them in the secret of your presence from the pride of man: you shall keep them secretly in a pavilion from the strife of tongues. Blessed be the LORD: for he has showed me his marvelous kindness in a strong city. For I said in my haste, I am cut off from before your eyes: nevertheless you heard the voice of my supplications when I cried to you. O love the LORD, all you his saints: for the LORD preserves the faithful, and plentifully rewards the proud doer. Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all you that hope in the LORD. Psalm 31


Dawn said...

Beautiful, Gigi. I don't claim to know how you feel, but I can feel your pain as you write. I went back and read your post on the first day two years ago - amazing what you have been through.

I have another blog friend, Linds, in England, who lost her husband 4 years ago today. Her thoughts and words are amazing, as well. I wish you two could visit!

Gigi said...

Dawn, I linked back to that post for anyone who maybe hasn't been here with me from the beginning. I haven't been able to read it myself...not yet. Those days are still too raw and pain-filled right now.

My prayers for your friend, Linds...

katiegfromtennessee said...

Hey Gigi!:) It has been awhile since I have been able to check all my blog girls blogs:) I won, yay! How do I redeem it?? I'm goofy with this kind of stuff...I loved this post. In the blink of an eye, all that you know can change, and your life can take a completely new turn. Good thing God specializes in working all things together for our good. I like this Psalm. It is a soul that wants to hide themselves in God. I know that feeling too:) Love in HIM, ((HUGS)), Blessings to you today Gigi,


nancygrayce said...

God comfort you! It is so changes in the blink of an eye! So sorry for your heartbreak.

Jess said...

I havent been back to read when i went through mine and jasons separation if that comforts you any... I will say that i think you are doing better...and that you are claming victory in your life...even though you feel as though you've been defeated. I love you and you are in my prayers...this was a good post and wonderful song!