Friday, October 9, 2009

Another mile marker

The days pass by and somehow they add up to another month without my Sweet Hubby. Today marks eleven months without him. Without his gentle smile, without his warm hand in mine, without his wonderful voice saying, "Hi Sweetheart." And it just doesn't get any easier. I'm beginning to think it never will.

Please, don’t ask me if I’m over it yet.
I’ll never be over it.

Please, don’t tell me he’s in a better place.
He isn’t with me.

Please, don’t say at least he isn’t suffering.
I haven’t come to terms with why he had to suffer at all.

Please, don’t tell me you know how I feel
Unless you have lost a spouse, it’s not possible.

Please, don’t ask me if I feel better.
Bereavement isn’t a condition that clears up.

Please, don’t tell me at least you had him for so many years.
What year would you choose for your spouse to die?

Please, don’t tell me God never gives us more than we can bear.
Please, just tell me you are sorry.

Please, just say you remember my husband, if you do.
Please, just let me talk about him.

Please, mention his name.
Please, just let me cry.

-author unknown

"You have been put to no test but such as is common to man: and God is true, who will not let any test come on you which you are not able to undergo; but he will make with the test a way out of it, so that you may be able to go through it." 1 Corinthians 10:13


5 comments:

Dawn said...

That is a profound poem - beautiful, gripping, convicting. I don't know how you feel. I'm blessed in that. But I do know that God does, and that you are relying on Him, even in anger, confusion, sorrow - I am so glad you can share with us your deepest feelings. A month from how will most likely be the most difficult milestone of all. Blessings, friend!

Today's devotional reading for me is from Hebrews 3. Verse 13 says, "But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness." I trust you'll be encouraged today by someone close by. We'll do our best here in cyberspace.

Greg said...

Still here, following your posts and praying for you. :)

Nitewrit said...

Gigi,

I like your deep devotion and love. Feel free to ever speak it. I'm sorry it is this way.

Larry E.

Jess said...

You know....that poem has to speak to us all...how many times have we said those things not knowing how painful it is to those we care about so much.....

and the worlds worst....

"If you need anything, let me know".

Right? You need your husband back....you need this 11 months back....you need your hugs and kisses and moments back....you need your life back.

And why? Why him? Why you? Why now?


I LOVE YOU

and I am here....I just don't know what to say....ever....

but I love you

Jess

Lakeland Jo said...

beautiful poem.